L a - b e a u t é - s a u v e r a - l e - m o n d e ~ D o s t o ï e v s k i

L a - b e a u t é - s a u v e r a - l e - m o n d e ~ D o s t o ï e v s k i



Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Nerves

I have my first opening at Winston Wächter tomorrow night. And I'm nervous. It's two shows, really. One is for sculptor Mielle Riggie. The other is a (small) group exhibition; I'm showing with Seattle artists Tatiana Garmendia and Piper O'Neill. So it isn't like the fear I'd have with a first solo show. And it isn't an "introductions" sort of thing for me. I'm not "on spec"; I've got the "gig", so to speak. And they've already seen that my work will sell - thank you for that! The gallery is beautiful. The people who own and run it have been just lovely. Warm, approachable, down-to-earth. I couldn't be happier with the people or the situation.

Most importantly, I'm very happy with the new paintings I've delivered to be part of this exhibition. I really feel that I'm doing the best work I've done thus far. Smart and beautifully painted. Right now anyway, my artistic ambition and my ability are well matched. Well balanced. And I think the work will only get better. I may be wildly egotistical - delusional? - but I don't think so. Dammit, the work is good! So I guess I'm not insecure about that..........hmmm, no....

Judith et Holopherne
La Coiffure interrompue

So why am I nervous? I guess it's just that it's all so new. I don't really know these people, yet. Nice as they are. Or this beautiful place. I'm shy; unless I'm really comfortable, social situations can be daunting for me. So I'm nervous about making an ass of myself, saying something stupid, being a bore. Nervous that I'm not young enough or attractive enough or cool enough. Because, right or wrong, I'm putting a lot of weight on being successful at this new gallery. If I'm going to be able to really claim the job description of professional artist, if I'm going to be able to transition out of needing a "day job", I need to take big steps. Now and in the immediate future. Winston Wächter feels like a big step.

Now, I know that the only thing I really need to concern myself with is the work. Is the work good? It's the work that's important, not how good-lookin' or charming I might be. Deep down I know that that's the only thing that really matters - but who the hell remembers that kind of thing at a time like this?!

I'll try.
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8 comments:

  1. Gigi LittleJanuary 11, 2011 at 6:40 PM

    Hey, charming and good-looking: the work is GOOD!

    ReplyDelete
  2. StephiliusJanuary 11, 2011 at 8:03 PM

    You sort of have to say that...but I'm always glad to hear it anyway! And I know you mean it, too!

    xS

    ReplyDelete
  3. gracefaceJanuary 11, 2011 at 8:33 PM

    The work is wonderful!!! And as far as YOU go, you need only be yourself, at which, fortunately, you are an expert. Be present, and enjoy.

    ReplyDelete
  4. StephiliusJanuary 12, 2011 at 12:17 AM

    Thank you, Grace, for your sweet support. I'll try to remember to...breathe!

    ReplyDelete
  5. LuJanuary 12, 2011 at 6:23 AM

    The work is WONDERFUL.. and you, my dear, are charming and funny and good looking.. so take that deep breath.. enjoy. We'll be thinking of you tonight!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Brian PadianJanuary 12, 2011 at 9:05 AM

    to time the work is the only thing that matters. to the artist not looking like an ass is of equal importance, at least in the short term. which is to say i get the nervousness. but from an outside perspective, the work is good. so don't sweat. if possible, buckle up, enjoy the ride!

    ReplyDelete
  7. DianeJanuary 14, 2011 at 7:34 AM

    Nobody can launch themselves out there without nerves. YOU, however, can relax knowing you're at the top of your game, the work is GORGEOUS and original and completely cool, and you're a totally stylin', interesting, hilarious and darling person. Prends le monde dans tes mains!!!
    and Congratulations!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  8. StephiliusJanuary 14, 2011 at 9:08 AM

    Merci tout le monde! And, well...it went marvelously!

    ReplyDelete

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